a strong word.

Is it too strong of a comment to say that I think I hate it here? Going back "home" for the break made me realize how much it's not really home and how much I don't like this state I'm in, the figurative kind of state and the actual state. Am I really supposed to be here? I kind of don't want to be right now. I should be grateful for this opportunity to study, but I'm not and I don't like that I'm not.

I'm checking options at the moment, but very much in a mode of bolting out of here if need be. It's not too late to start over...somewhere else.

I didn't expect to be this "real" here (on this blog) but here I am. It's possible I've reached my threshold of frustration. What happens now?

One week to get through. I don't even like the fact that I look at this next week as something just to get through. That's not the attitude I want to have, but it's what it is...